Saturday, April 23, 2005

Random Romanto-Sexual Thoughts

I want a girlfriend.

I've never really had one; some girls I was interested in who didn't like me back, even a little vice versa, but never anyone to date or romance or what-have-you. Part of it is probably my self-esteem and nervousness issues. Okay, more like most if not all of it.

I have had sex, but that was one-nighters. They were fun, but not particularly fulfilling. I guess I'm a silly old romantic; I want someone to hold hands with, watch a movie with, talk with, and make out with. I want someone to sleep next to occasionally. I want someone to share a bit of myself and my life with. I have no idea if I'm emotionally ready for it, but I want it. And it's nice to want things.

Which is not to say libido isn't a factor. I am, after all, a twenty-something male. I mean, I said up there "make out with," which opens up a whole realm of possibilities before even getting to any kind of overtly sexual act. I do miss kissing, the feeling of warm lips on mine, the scent of breath. Actually, that's one thing I've always loved about women: they smell fantastic. And having that smell right up in my nostrils while simultaneously kissing (american or French style; it's all good) is, to me, very erotic.

And then there's touch. I love touching a woman. The skin is usually soft, and I get a good thrill out of running my hands along her face, or her curves. And, like many a man, I do like the feeling of a good tit in my hand. They're like koosh balls. Silly analogy, but that's the way it is.

The last girl I slept with spent a long time just playing with me, and I with her. There was probably a good hour of straddled dry-humping in just our underwear. That was very cool; I like being teased. I like teasing, too; when she told me her back was an erogenous zone, I couldn't resist immediately trailing a finger up her spine.

One thing that might shock some of you is that I like being naked. If I had the option of going naked in society, I'd likely take it some days. Certainly, if I lived alone, I'd be unable to resist the temptation, especially with the heat we've been having recently. And, of course, being naked with another person is very fun. Not necessarily fucking, but just appreciating one another's bodies. Any flesh-to-flesh contact is a sharing experience, and that can be very much a turn-on.

So, anyhow, I miss all that, and I want to delve into new romantic experiences as well. This coming July Fourth will mark two years since my last sexual experience. I'd like to at least have gone on a date or kissed someone by then.

Right now, though, I have to go write. Have a nice Saturday, everyone.


Lena said...


he he, kidding.

Ed Cunard said...

Have you ever had the pleasure of being at a naked party/nudist beach? There really is something magical and/or liberating about being naked with a ton of other people in a strictly (at least, for the majority of the time) non-carnal setting.

Michael said...

That would be a big ol' "no," Ed, but thanks for sharing.