Monday, September 15, 2008

In Which My Desperation Becomes Palpable

No, it's not about women.

I have, for those not aware, been out of work for some months. My current money situation is somewhat akin to that of the railroad worker 1 drags out of the river in We3. (If you haven't read it, A, shame on you, and B, think the opening of Saving Private Ryan.)

This cannot continue. Short of becoming a human organ farm or Tina Fey's live-in sex toy, I am in desperate need of full-time, gainful employment, health benefits included.

I am therefore appealing, hat in hand like the most wretched, Dickensian street urchin, to any readers in the NY area: If you know of any job openings for someone with my skills, or any skills, let me know. Ask for my resume. Pass on my information. Click the link on the left and send me details. Or just money. Send me humongous bags of money.

As to my qualifications: I've got three years of magazine editing experience and one half-year of book production experience. As I hope this blog has proven, I can write, and anyone who's encountered me on message boards knows I'm a grammar and style nazi par excellence. Beyond that, I'm an able-bodied mid-20s male with a college education who's rather good at throwing away the manual and figuring out what something does by using it, and I'm pretty good at cutting through bullshit and easily figure out what's really going on(I recognize that this is seen in some business circles as a negative). I possess stupid amounts of pop culture knowledge, think way too much about everything, and am willing and eager to make fun of anyone and anything, including the things that matter most to me. If nothing else, I hung lights in college, so I can wrench-monkey with the rest of them.

We now return you to your regularly (un)scheduled nerdery.