Just The FAQs: Who The Hell Are You, Anyway?

This is the only time I'll be this self-indulgent, I promise.

Q: So, like I said: Who the hell are you, anyway?

A: Thanks for asking. I'm Michael, a 24-year-old writer and editor who lives in New York City.

Q: Oh, cool. What comics do you write/edit?

A: As of yet, none. I edit for a startup magazine, Citizen Culture, and I write mostly prose fiction and this blog.

Q: Uh-huh. So you haven't done anything comics related?

A: Well, I have produced several scripts, including the portfolio I built as part of Danny Fingeroth's Comics Writing course at NYU's School of Continuing and Professional Education.

Q: That's… really not very impressive.

A: That's really not very much a question.

Q: Fuck you, Mr. Defensive.

A: Right back at you, douchebag.

Q: Are we mortal blog enemies now?

A: Since you're a rhetorical construct created by me for the purpose of this FAQ, I hope not. That would be more confusing than the time Wonder Man came back from the dead.

Q: Which one?

A: Good point. Any more questions?

Q: Yes. Since you're not much of a professional authority on comics, why should I listen to you?

A: Well, I could be a wiseass and point out that it's not stopping anyone else from blogging, but instead: I've been reading comics, and reading about comics, for nearly twenty years now. In that time, I've developed not only a great deal of thoughts about them, but some of those thoughts are intelligent and original. And I can express them well enough in writing that I feel compelled to share them. Besides, no one's demanding that you agree with me…

Q: Wow, you really aren't a typical comic blogger.

A: Thank you. As I was saying, you don't have to agree with me, just give my viewpoints a fair shake before rejecting them out of hand because none of them is that [insert creator who's not as good or avant-garde as everyone thinks they are] is Christ reincarnated.

Q: Please. We all know that Peter David is Christ.

A: Damn right.

Q: So, what was your first comic?

A: Either ALF #2 or Mickey and Donald #3.

Q: Wow.

A: I know.

Q: What, were they sold out of Jerry Lewis back issues?

A: Oh, shut up. I was six.

Q: How much do you think those early Dave Manaks go for on eBay?

A: I can turn this computer off right now, you know.

Q: I'll be good.

A: Good. Any other questions?

Q: What do you love/hate most about comics?

A: Other fans.

Q: Makes sense. Can I ask you questions about old comics/new comics/your darkest sexual fantasies?

A: Sure thing. Use the comments below (I'm working on switching to a spam-free comments paradigm soon) or email me at [address no longer active]. Women are encouraged to include pics.

Q: You're a sad little man, you know that?

A: Yes. Yes I do.

Q: So, how many tubgirl pics do you figure you'll get?

A: At least one, from Stonegold.

Q: That boy ain't right.

A: No kidding.

Q: So what's Fingeroth really like?

A: Nice guy. Clean nails, nice smell, a class act all the way. Likes the Diet Pepsi.

Q: I never woulda guessed that.

A: The man's an enigma wrapped in a mystery.