Yes, I would jump off the bridge.
Spider-Man. Now and forever, Spider-Man.
Papercutz’ new Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew series.
The new volume of Runaways (buy it, damn you!).
John Jackson Miller’s Longbox Manifesto columns.
The ComicBookResources.com forums.
Bone full-color reprints available to schoolchildren.
The Complete Peanuts.
Calvin and Hobbes
The Justice Society of America
Carl Barks reprints (“Lost in the Andes” is out this week!)
Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely. They are in fact one entity, which I call “Grank Quitson.”
Thousands of writers and artists struggling to improve their vision and talent.
My readable copy of Fantastic Four 50.
Alan Moore’s creepy beard.
Visiting MoCCA the other weekend, seeing a father showing his kid around, and seeing the kid’s eyes go wild with amazement.
New York City’s excellent selection of comics stores.
The Dark Phoenix Saga.
Avengers: Under Siege.
JLA: World War III
The Book of Bunny Suicides.
Alternative comics that scare me.
Peter David. (C’mon, you knew it was coming.)
The new She-Hulk series.
The cover to JLA/Avengers 3.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
Jess Nevins, that crazy obsessed bastard.
Justice League Unlimited.
Todd Nauck’s Wildguard. When’s volume 2 coming out, Todd?
Creators who do crazy shit on news sites and message boards.
Gratuitous references to the industry in songs, TV shows, and other pop media.
Serious, meaningful references to comics in songs, TV shows, and other pop media.
Waid and Kitson’s Legion of Superheroes.
Marvel Essentials. One day, I shall own them all.
The part where Spidey lifts the huge-ass piece of machinery.
Comic girlfriends who know more about the industry than their boyfriends.
The Fourth Rail.
Arrogant bloggers who know more than I do.
Scud: The Disposable Assasin.
Original art. Can’t afford it, love it anyway.
People who roll comics up and stick them in their back pockets.
Kirby full-page splashes where you don’t know what the hell you’re looking at.
Weisinger-era Superman covers.
All incarnations of the Teen Titans. Yes, even the one with the Atom.
*slaps forehead* Reading them.
Bruce Campbell writing them.
The Legion of Substitute Heroes, Great Lakes Avengers, and Justice League Antarctica.
The Kree-Skrull War.
The Crime Syndicate of America.
Sitting around, digging through my boxes.
Reading an entire run of comics in a single night.
“Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?”
Deadpool 1-25. Especially 11.
The Flash’s Cosmic Treadmill.
Twisted Toyfare Theater.
Kin Shriner getting in shape so he can dress as Green Arrow at conventions.
The sheer perfectness of the idea of Captain Marvel.
Time Warp Comics in Bartlesville, Oklahoma. Hi, Mike!
The 1993 Marvel Annuals. I have to get some of these back someday.
Y: The Last Man
My fellow fans.